Can you love someone without agreeing with them? I recently had a discussion with a female friend about relationships. She stressed the importance of her religion and political views. She felt it was important for a couple to agree on the same religious and political issues. It made me think about what attracts me about other people and what decisions I make when I allow someone to be a part of my life. I attempted to write out a list from most important to least important of what I look for in a partner.
1. Physical Appearance
3. Family values
4. Strong male role model at home
5. Career Ambitions
This is a rough draft of what I look for in a life partner. Religion and politics does not even go into my top 5 attributes. To be honest I don’t think most of us know what we want until we find it. Religion and political views seem trivial in a married relationship. Is it more important to teach your children to be strong independent thinkers or to fill their heads with your bias propaganda?
Mary Matalin and James Carville are married and are both political consultants for opposite parties. Matalin is a Republican and Carville is a Democrat. Carville has worked with President Clinton and Matalin has worked with President Bush Sr. They are often on opposite sides of debates and yet have been married for 19 years. I can only imagine how heated some of their conversations have gotten, but then again I think most people who are married or in a relationship can identify with a heated argument regardless of political or religious beliefs.
Love and a constant commitment to improve are the most important attributes. A person’s character and personality is far more important than their political affiliation. The fact that they have even taken the time to figure out where they stand on issues is a good sign. My advice is to dig deeper and try to understand why he or she believes in those political issues. Open-mindedness is something I find very attractive in people.