Andrew Whitlatch - Courtesy Laugh Network - April 26, 2011
I guess I wouldn’t be doing my job as a journalist if I didn’t at least comment on the royal wedding.
Well…It should be great.
I know a lot of people are excited about the fairy tale wedding. I guess I understand the excitement. I’m always interested in a good love story, but I’m afraid that this kind of event sets up an unrealistic expectation of love. I find it amusing that we still have princes. (We also still have pirates.) Most guys who are, or have been, in a relationship know what it’s like to sit through a movie like The Notebook. It is basically a rite of passage into the world of relationships.
Romance is a huge part of any relationship, but is romanticizing romance poisoning our relationships?
Is Walt Disney ruining our relationships?
The attachment we feel towards romantic movies is distorting our view of reality. I recently read a book entitled, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. The book is about how Miller learned to tell a better story of his life. Even after writing Blue Like Jazz, which was on the New York Times best seller list for forty weeks, Miller found his life to be stagnant and boring. He stopped waiting around and took action.
I like the book because it emphasizes the importance of the journey and not the end result. A lot of us think about relationships as a Danielle Steele novel. Our relationships require a great deal of work, commitment, and responsibility. The elaborate wedding with all the gifts and alcohol is not the happy ending. It is merely a paragraph in a chapter of the story.
Some of us spend our whole lives chasing perfection, or waiting for the moment when the stars align and we have everything we want. The truth is that this will never happen. We have moments of joy and accomplishment but we are often left chasing the next fleeting emotion. Think about your relationship with your significant other. Is it everything you want it to be? Are you waiting for the next accomplishment or emotion to fix whatever problem you have? These are merely distractions.
The storybook endings with the prince and the princess falling in love are fictional and inaccurate. Guy meets girl, guy does something stupid to make girl break up with him, musical montage of realization (usually a best friend who offers terrible advice), elaborate and extreme apology (usually in an airport for some reason), big finale kiss, fade to black, and roll credits.We have seen this movie time and time again. This is the expectation we have developed over centuries of romantic story lines. Men and women enter relationships looking for the other person to fill their wildest fantasies. We have stopped looking at each other as humans and started looking at each other like Ryan Gosling (I have to admit he was a stud in that movie). Do our expectations of each other resemble characters in a Walt Disney film?
Struggle builds character and strengthens our perseverance. I think to create something of value there has to be a struggle or fight. With that said, I wish the royal couple the best of luck.