Andrew Whitlatch - Courtesy Laugh Network - June 21, 2011
Lying is important in a relationship. Fellas, don’t get too excited. You still have to tell your lady if you’re having dinner with a female friend. The simple truth is that men and women are different. Honesty is not always the best policy. For instance, I am extremely protective. It’s not a secret and it’s an issue I struggle with everyday.
It’s tough being a guy because I know what other men are thinking. I’m very sensitive to women getting harassed on the street or on the subway. It makes me incredibly angry to see a woman disrespected by a man.
Obviously, my lady is incredibly gorgeous. If you’ve ever seen a picture of me you can only imagine how amazing she looks (you’re probably thinking she must be really ugly). Beauty and the Beast or Larry King and any of his wives are probably more accurate comparisons. However, she is a very pretty woman who I tricked into dating me. I know when she goes anywhere, construction workers will stop standing around watching one guy in a hole, businessmen will hang up the phone and creepy, divorced/married, middle-aged men will make a comment or stare her down until she is forced to look at them.
I know this because it’s exactly what I did when I first saw her. My protective nature is mixed with legitimate concern, self-doubt, self-consciousness, jealousy, OCD and exposure to a sensationalized 24-hour newscast. It’s difficult to sort through this web of emotions. It’s one my major struggles and I have done a pretty good job of keeping it under control with her help.
However, my weakness has become her strength in many ways. Sometimes the best thing she can do is not tell me. In my head I can rationalize and break down irrational fears but our emotions are more dominant. I can sort of understand how my parents felt when I got my license. Loving someone so much plays with your head. I need her to lie to me sometimes. I think it’s a whole new level of intimacy to trust your partner to lie to protect your feelings. It doesn’t reflect how much she values our relationship, I know she does. I’m OK if she doesn’t tell me the truth about every detail. I know it’s because she cares.